First Semester of My Dream Uni Life

Have you ever imagined how does it feel to achieve parts of your dream.Yeah, by grace I am here in Australia my dream country studying 'the hardest subject that would torture you' which people called but I call it simply as mathematics economy or you will know as Actuarial.

To be honest, this country is 180 degree from what I imagined, it is wayyyyyyyyy to modern, as a Potterhead I still yearn for a city like Oxford. Wish me luck for my postgraduate there.

So let me tell you about this dream country, it is a nice city with a lot of immigrants, by a lot I mean a looooooooot. HA HA HA. At first you would feel like you are in China not in Australia. May be it is because I study in UNSW which has a lot of international students who are mostly Chinese, by Chinese I mean they are from China mainland.

So let me tell you, how it is here. As I said, this is a country of immigrants, I met a lot of Indonesians and most of my friends are Indo, this is one reason why I want to go exchange, I really want to have a close International student. HAHAHA, but I think because I hang out with my Indo friends, I don't really experience homesick. I like it here, at least I got reasons for myself not to remember about those 'friends'. At least, I won't be sad if they are not talking to me again as I'm here in Aussie which far from them.

Okay, so here I am, survived the first 3 months here living 'kinda' alone in Sydney. I learnt a lot of things, from being able to clean my room my laundry and my dishes, trying to cook some dished which I was also amazed that I could actually cook them, to learning that every place is in your walking distance, yeah if you study abroad be ready to walk a lot, by a lot I mean you would rarely use car, the least you can use is bus and train.

And the thing that people told me that Actuarial is moderately hard, I believe it now, but I still think they overreacted, because from this semester I learnt that if you try hard, you can even score full mark. Yeah my first math test was a disaster, but at least I got something, that I must study harder than I did in highschool. If you know me, in highschool, I almost slept everyday which I don't know why. Here, I got to study like until night and I also need to pay attention in lecture if I want to have a good score.

By the way, I kinda miss how easy it was to go to mall, here it happens rarely, I miss going to mall to eat dinner. I also miss street food, the food here is way too expensive. By expensive, I mean it is expensive, imagine you can get a nice dish at nice restaurant in Grand Indonesia, with the same price you will only get an ordinary food here.

Talking about those 'friends', I really miss our jokes, our swimming sessions, our stupid chats, the way I was always being teased, the dinner time, martabak quality time, and so many things. But what can I do, by being left without a single explanation. I really wish we would all being met again someday by chance and everything would be clear because honestly I miss our stupid squads.
HAHAHA..... wish one of you read this.

Okay, 2 weeks from now I am going to have my first final examinations, wish me bunch of luck and I could survive this 'deadly' degree.

By the way after the examS, I'm going to Gold Coast with my girlfriendS, as it will be my first travelling with my squads, finally my mom gave me permissions.


See you reader, wish me luck and see you soon.

xoxo,

dreamer

NO DREAM IS TOO BIG

You have to fight for what you want.

Everybody always says that.

If people who know me since I was little, my university dream has always been an Australian University which is located in Sydney.

Ask me why, I'm not quite sure myself. I guess it's because Australia sounds exciting.

And after years of studying in uniform, I finally graduated in 2015.

And after that long journey, there was still no guarantee of me studying in Australia.

But, God always makes a way, right?

I got in to Uniprep with $5000 scholarship. Yeah, scholarship has never been in my diary since little, because I always think that even though I think I'm smart, I'm not smart enough to get a scholarship.

Days passed, months passed, year changed.

After 6 months of studying in Uniprep, I finally got my results 2 days ago.

Guess what?

I got the score I always want to, the score that I need to got in to my preference faculty and a chance of getting another scholarship.

God is so great.

THERE IS NO DREAM THAT IS TOO BIG.

If people tell you dream too high, study hard, work hard, prove them wrong. Prove them that nothing's impossible. That if there's a will, if God takes part, everything is possible. Keep dreaming in reality not only in your sleep!







Writes happily by a dreamer :)




By the way, happy new year peeps!

Lies People Tell

They told me it's okay to be different, yet they teased me for being different. 

They told me that one day I would find my prince charming, yet they told me how pain love is. 

They told me they would stay, yet they left me at the end. 

They told me that distance meant nothing, yet they made it as an excuse to leave. 

They told me they were going to stay with me until the end, yet they left in the middle  

They told me how important I was, yet they forgot me. 

They told me how they wouldn't lie, yet they lied. 

They told me how important it was to be myself, yet they talked about how I'm being me. 

They told me they would help, yet they weren't there when I need them. 

They told me that everything was gonna be okay, yet they made everything falls apart. 

They acted like my friends, yet they betrayed me. 

They told me they'd change, yet they didn't. 

They asked me how my life was, yet they didn't care about it. 

They asked me if I was okay, yet they were the reason I wasn't.

They told me they would be there, yet I wasn't able to find them. 

They said they missed me, yet they didn't try to meet me. 

They promised a together future, yet they left before future. 

They told me how they loved me, yet they left without word. 

They told me that we were infinite, yet they proved how infinite was only fairytale. 

fine, i admit it.

I admit that I miss you. 

I admit that I like you. 

I admit that I want you. 

I admit that I'm afraid of losing you. 

But here's the thing, you hate me as Voldemort hates Harry Potter as girls hate bugs. 

But the more I think I hate you the more I fall in love with you. 

Is it wrong? 

Should I stop? 

But, how? 

Tell me. 

I hate you. 

Please make me hate you as you hate me. 

Or can you just simply tell me what have I done that bother all of you? 

At the end I just can admit that actually I've fallen for you since a long time ago. 

Poetry by dreamer

Am I important?

Seeing how your friends pursue their future one by one. As you are the last who is going to study abroad, having that thoughts that will your friend drop you off to there, will they even feel loosing you, will they even make effort for sending you off. Those thoughts about am I important to them. Those thoughts that make your heart miserable. Are they even afraid of losing you? 

Ya we'll see if I do really have "friends" 

Haha. 

WML

                                 xoxo, dreamer

BELIEVE

People talk easily about forgetting some, have they ever really thought how does it feel to be the one who was left? Yes, i'm a cynical about this, yet, i'm aware the feeling of being left and forgotten. Living in the dream of fairytale life that think that everything will be alright in the matter of time. Believe that everyone is willing to do as much as you do. Believe that true friends are real. Believe that everyone is royal as fuck. Believe that everything's gonna be alright. Believe that miracle happens. Believe that inner beauty is the most important. Believe that fairytale is real. Believe the someday i'm gonna meet my prince. Believe that people nevee see you physically. Believe that you are worthed. Believe that you are important. Believe that you won't be forgotten. Believe that you will never be alone. Believe that people will stay forever. Believe that your life isn't the only one that sucks. Believe that everything happens for a reason. Believe that people are going to love you. Believe that eventually a boy will love you without mattering your physical apperance. Believe that you can trust people. Believe that you are accepted. 

BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE MATTER TO SOME. 

And yet, I was wrong, I am wrong, and I will never be right. 

I'M LOST

i'm starting to doubt that real friendship is just a fairytale. i don't think i have any friends. And I'm right in any way. They're just gonna be there at your up and gone at your down. They'll leave you at the time they've started feeling bored with you, yeah, I'm boring and annoying and you won't want to deal with me. But, remember you first chose me as your friend. And honestly, even if you have the same annoying level as I am or even more I never thought of leaving you babe.  And look now, who's the disroyal bitches? Yet, you better leave know, cos I haven't given all of me and you haven't know how I really am, at the time you know I think you'll leave forever. So it's better now that later.

L.O.V.E

Love. 

1 word. 

4 letters. 

thousands meanings. 

hundreds emotions. 

countless pains. 

People commonly use the phrase "fall in love". Fall? Wouldn't it be hurt? I never afraid to fall in love, but the fear is always about falling for the wrong one, while in fact you will never fall for the wrong on. You just sometimes fall for someone who doesn't have any feelings for you. Is it wrong to fall for them? I don't think so. But "does it hurt?". Yes. It does hurt. 

Shouldn't love be that wonderful? So, why does it hurt? Why does it hard for stop falling in love, even when they had hurt you countless times? 

The problem is that you can never figure out others's feelings toward you. Sometimes you expect them to love you back, while they're just being nice to you. 

On the other side the real question is "does fairytale real?" , "doesn't it just full of shit?" 

They say that every girl has their own prince, it just the matter of time. Is it true?

While others say that if you are often fighting with one person, they love you without knowing. While at the time you start to love them, the proof just begins to tell you that they don't even like you. 

They say people love you based on your personality, while facts say that people love you based on your apperance. Is it fair to judge people based on their apperance? I guess not. 

I personally don't want to know about the real meaning of romance. Because sometimes love isn't all about romance, Mom's love for example. 

But honestly I'm tired of being in love. It was a great pain. Cause the fact is, you will never know other's feeling and you can't even tell it loud out about your true feeling because of the fear of losing them. 

I'm afraid of falling in love because it's a bet between rising higher and falling deeper.